I was talking with my parents tonight about issues. I like talking with them and pushing them on various things I think about. One thing that I often talk about is morals, whether actual government laws or societal laws/rules in which the general public engages.
Tonight I pretty explicitly asked my Dad why he doesn't like swearing. As far as I can tell he's very intolerant of it. Whenever I would say a cuss word he will say in a disapproving voice "Daniel...." or give a shake of his head. Mostly this doesn't bother me. But sometimes I think his distaste goes too far. When he saw "Little Miss Sunshine" he hated the movie because of how much the grandfather swore. He couldn't get over how this older man kept saying "fuck" in front of this little girl and it basically ruined the movie for him. It effects his own life, not those he is condemning, and it is frustrating when I feel like he is doing so needlessly. Whatever, I asked him about it.
We talked for a while and he went over various anecdotes for when it had been used inappropriately. From what I gleaned, it seemed like my Dad didn't like it because using it often enough could make you use it at inappropriate times, could offend someone else, and was in general just a bad practice. He referenced not enjoying particular jokes and such, presumably because of their use of swear words. When I pushed him on why he didn't like them for himself, he seemed to have a hard time articulating an answer. Everything seemed to be based on others' reasons or because society didn't use them. I tried to explain to him that I didn't feel like that was an actual reason for thinking they were bad. I used this analogy.
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There is this psychology experiment where a bunch of monkeys are in a room. In the room is a ladder, and at the top of the ladder is a bunch of bananas. But when the monkeys try and climb the ladder the researchers pull them down and punish them. No matter how many times the monkeys try and go up, the researchers stop them and punish them. New monkeys are added to the originals and the same thing continues. Eventually when new monkeys are added and try and reach the bananas, more experienced monkeys will pull them down before the researchers can. Eventually the researchers don't have to do anything. The monkeys teach the new generations to pull down monkeys going up the ladder to the bananas.'Basically, I was trying to explain to my Dad that tradition isn't a logical reason. Tradition is just a way of saying 'don't do something because we said so'. It has no intrinsic logic. So I pushed him to come up with a reason for why swearing is bad on its own merit, by something he can come up with on his own. He tried saying society doesn't like it. That's tradition. "It's bad because it's a cuss word." Frustrating. Eventually after getting frustrated at each other for a while, my Mom mentioned not swearing because it could get you in trouble. I think avoidance of punishment is only barely above tradition in the scheme of things. It just shows society disapproves but not why. Another time when I asked my Dad why murder was wrong, he also didn't seem to be able to come up with much besides the fact that it "was wrong" and because you could get in trouble. So I kept pushing them for a compelling reason regardless of tradition, society, or punishment avoidance. My Mom came up with the fact that if two people came in and started having sex that we all wouldn't find it very enjoyable. I of course would, but that's beside the point. And using a word such as fuck in front of a five year old girl would arise questions that were largely inappropriate and untimely. For the most part I still feel like this isn't really getting into anything but other's views, and society, but I still understood what she was saying.
For myself, for the most part, I don't see any words as "bad." No stringing together of letters in my opinion can be wrong. However, I do feel like what they mean and how they are used can cause issue. Mostly I guess I really have to agree with harm avoidance. I won't use fuck, shit, cunt, bitch, ass, whatever in public because that won't offend anyone. Not really a personal reason, but it will keep me out of trouble. And mostly those words are used in hateful means. Bastard, someone with no father, is in no ways bad to me. But because it was once considered a bad thing to not have a father, is considered a hateful word worthy of censorship. If that is actually applicable as a mean thing these days I have no idea. I'm sure someone without a father wouldn't want to be reminded of that fact. But mostly I'm just going to remove the word from my vocabulary because uttering it doesn't seem like it could be said in a productive way. But I have no actual problem with the word bastard, or basically any others.
If anything I think many swear words should be used quite a bit more often. Like bastard, most swear words are things that are taboo, those things we don't want to talk about. Sadly most of these things are things concerned with sex and bodily functions. It is a means for society to avoid these issues. It creates a stigma around them, and thus we are less likely to talk about them. And I think it's very sad because these are the things we should be talking about, especially with our kids. I think basically all communication is a good thing. Just ignoring it, or making it taboo will not stop kids from having sex, and it certainly won't stop them from shitting. It's weird to think that if all of society embraced this we would actually lose all swear words because they would have no "bad" power.
As far as other acts, I basically have the rule not to disable others' free will. I will not do anything to disrupt anyone's free will. I will not effect their life so they cannot live it the way that they want. In this case, swearing is something of a gray area. Swearing doesn't take away their free will, but possibly could effect their enjoyment from life. And I don't really think censoring myself in the appropriate situations is too taxing or an invasion of my free will. This philosophy of freedom of will basically covers everything, including things such as murder where someone's free will is taken away from them permanently. I don't really have a good logical reason why free will should be something given to everyone. I would just say that it is basically all I can give anyone in this life. They were not brought here by choice, and they should have the option to determine their own destiny from here on out. Things ranging from rape, assault, theft, and others all prevent them from doing this. I don't really have any hard and fast rules besides this. I think I can assess basically any situation with this guideline. And many things that society would condemn such a incest, cannibalism, drug use, sexual orientation, and whatever else don't bother me at all. The only area where I would have a hard time with is areas of questionable judgment such as infringing on others' lives, determining adulthood, and when a person is alive. Thus swearing, abortion, and when people should be allowed to drink are a little hazy. But I would love to hear ideas for those.
