Godless

Godless by Pete Hautman
6/10

This is a book for kids in middle school.

The World According to Garp

John Irving's The World According to Garp

Great writer, amazing story, okay subject matter, 8.5

Lord of Emperors

Lord of Emperors by Guy Gavriel Kay

7.5/10

Sailing to Sarantium

Sailing to Sarantium by Guy Gavriel Kay

8/10

final steps

It is pretty foolish of me to think that I could start over fresh without first having a step for cleaning out my closet, for seeking absolution. So, I am going to write down some of my greatest mistakes and regrets. I will then attempt to summon the humility to ask forgiveness for these.

nick sperry / rachel baker / wills pumphrey / brent pickett / kady fairfield (superior) / john johnson / matt lund (temper/unnecessarily hurtful) / molly geaman / matt shelton / alyssa kritzman / nate siftar / dragana vidovic / micah hammer / derek nordquist / ashwin longani / taylor smith / ben bedford / daniel bedford /superior/judgmental/inpatient/selfish indecent exposure / stealing

* explanations coming soon (9/26)

the Fellowship of the Ring

J.R.R. Tolkein's Lord of the Rings is probably the most well known fantasy novel of all time. I can only imagine how many copies it has sold well past his death. I have heard that the Lord of the Rings was meant as one book, but because of publishing or some other shenanigans had to be released in three volumes. It was probably considered too long then. That was back in 1954! The first book I have finished, which of course is the Fellowship of the Ring. It's the first third of Tolkein's great masterpiece.

Judging this book is very difficult because it really is only the first third of a whole book. I am reading the Two Towers now, and the book starts on page 403. So to call the Fellowship of the Ring a stand alone book might not be completely accurate. In that sense, I have tried to judge it fairly.

Mostly, I feel like this book is just too slow. There's an epic adventure and things happen, but it's marred by too much talk of I don't know what. It's not like we get to know the characters. I couldn't tell you hardly anything about any of the characters except maybe Gimli. There is hardly any character development, and I guess people defend that by saying it's more of a focus on the culture. That might be true, he has laid a foundation for hundreds of fantasy works. But it doesn't seem like he's writing anything. Wwho are these people? What is the history? Almost anytime anyone ever tries to ask about this, the question is dismissed and nothing is told. I think it's very strange for how much talk of the lore there is, how little of it is actually present. I can't say I'd reccommend this to anyone. With a lot of things, I think the present has just gotten better, and we should only look at these from a historical perspective.

6.5/10

The Hobbit

J.R.R. Tolkein is probably the most well known fantasy writer of all time. And it is because of this book, The Hobbit, and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. This book is something of a prequel to that series, but it is also an amazing stand alone. The tale of Bilbo Baggins, a modest hobbit enjoying his quiet peaceful life, who becomes caught up in a whirlwind quest as a "burglar," is one of the best told stories of epic fantasy that I have ever read. It is extremely accessible, the few characters are enjoyable, and the plot is straight-forward without being too simple. The book is not anything spectacular, but it is solid and very good the whole time. Tolkein does a marvelous job of writing a tale that all other fantasy must compare itself too. And this novel stands the test of time. 8.5/10

The Diamond Age

Neal Stephenson's the Diamond Age was not what I expected. I had read his Snow Crash and loved it. I had seen this book on a Top 10 list for greatest distopian novels of all time. Distopia in the future is a concept I like a lot, and am really drawn to. And Stephenson has a wonderfully imagined view of how bizarre and amazing that future could be, while still being absolutely fucked up. There are not many writers out there that can capture the spirit and culture of a future like Stephenson can. His vision is remarkable.

The Diamond Age takes place some point in the future where nanotechnology is so ubiquitous that there is a stark dichotomy between the sophisticated who have mastered the technology or live beyond it and the general public who rely upon it. The book mostly takes palce around the Shanghai area where the populations are split into claves, broken up between anything from political parties, wealth, and creed, to internal philosophies, ethnicity, or education. Matter compilers make anything from mattresses and synthetic rice, to office buildings and antibiotics. The world is dominated by overwhelming billboards, mediaglyphs not letters, and books speak out loud instead of being read. Nanotech robots protect the skies from pollutants and violence to an extent that the poverty shown in the book is ahrdly recognizable to what we know. I will not go directly into the plot, because it is vague, intricate, and pretty unique. I really do not know if I would reccommend this book to anyone but staunch science fiction readers.

The Diamond Age as a book is somewhat lacking for me. While its atmosphere and scope are amazing, the characters and situations did not really pique my interest. The plot itself is vague. There were several points where I just did not know what the point was. There was just very little drama. The stories were interesting but with no real direction. This was more like three interwoven stories that were interesting and connected, but without a point. And it is too bad too, because there seemed to be a theme coming together. There were some really interesting philosophies and undertones that just never got developed. Even the ending was abrupt. I would say the climax was the last sentence, and that kind of bothers me. It should not be there. When the reader gets up to that high of a level of caring for what is going on, the writer should utilize that time. It means more. The beginning gives you characterization, momentum, and a building tension. The ending is a time to reap what you have sewn. Just because the reader reachs the climax does not mean what comes after should not be interesting and compelling. Of course it is!I wanted to know more, basically all the time, but especially at the end when I am really hooked in. Still Stephenson is a great and imaginitive writer, and I was really only disappointed because there could have been so much more. 7.5/10

The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger

Stephen King's The Dark Tower: the Gunslinger held high expectations in my mind. I don't read too much horror but was looking forward to reading some good old scary stuff. I had heard that the Dark Tower series was Stephen King's best work. He even won some awards for the center section. However if this book was any indication, I think it was undeserved. I guess I came into it wrong because this is not a horror novel. I could hardly even call it a novel. Hardly anything happens. Sure, some stuff happens, but it's all totally disconnected, and barely relevant.
The story opens on a man following another man. That's basically the whole book, and basically how it ends. It doesn't really explain why he's following him ever, what his ultimate goal of the dark tower is, or who many of the back story characters are. It does have some good imagery, and follows a lot of what I would like to write in a short story. However, this is not me. This is a world acclaimed writer. I realize this is only the first book, but I don't think I can continue. I don't think I would recommend this to anyone, and this book only had about two scenes with imagery that stuck with me. I am contemplating getting an actual Stephen King horror novel or the book that Shawshank Redemption was based off of. We will see. Right now I'm just fairly disappointed. 6.5/10

the Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Most of Douglas Adams' the Restaurant at the End of the Universe follows his previous characters misadventures through the galaxy in the same way as Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. There is essentially no plot, and the book begins and ends with nothing resembling normal story structures. This book is something more of a stringing together of barely interconnected events. While that might have been a novel, and wholly interesting device in the previous book, its entertainment value wanes here. Perhaps I simply need to take a break, but it seems like I could pick almost any random chapter and read it as opposed to chronological order.

Overall this book is still very enjoyable and very funny. We are introduced to slightly more characters in this book and some amazing and fantastical settings including the title restaurant. Adams' imagination still amazes me. 8/10

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

I have read Douglas Adams' masterpiece The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy before, but it always astounds me. It is wildly imaginative, odd, and wonderful. It's also just a ton of fun.

Though this book only has about five characters, which you really don't know very well at all, basically no plot, and only a stringing together of events, it doesn't matter at all because it's simply awesome.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy might be classified as science-fiction, but it is really just a wonderful little comedy. It's light humor and perspective give this book a style which is easy to digest especially since it has short chapters and under 150 pages. I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys the wacky side of life, or basically anyone. 9/10

Gardens of the Moon

The Malazan Empire attempts to tighten its hold on the few remaining Free Cities. But soldiers, assassins, and mages each have their own unique perspective and agenda to play out. When gods and civilizations long past enter the fray the lives and souls of all are in peril. The varying characters battle for survival and domination in this epic fantasy where the reader is drawn into a world of deceit, intrigue, wonder, and war.

I haven't read any epic fantasy in a while. I often look at other people's book reviews and lists for fantasy to read however. This is one that pops up on contemporary fantasy as highly regarded. Overall I found Steven Erikson's Gardens of the Moon did not live up to the hype. And I think it has to do with the hype. There are so many fantasy readers that get so caught up in the details and scope of the story. Yes, Gardens of the Moon was complex and intricate. Yes, the scope of the story and it's interwoven characters was mesmerizing. I just don't think that makes it into a great book automatically. Overall I would say it deterred from it. Erikson is an amazing writer. Some of my favorite ideas on characters were realized in this book. But just because the story is epic doesn't mean you need to have twenty characters that you hardly know at all. I need characters that I know. Half the time someone was mentioned and I forgot who it was, and I read this consistently. I couldn't remember who was on which side, and how people knew each other. I like complexity, and I realize this is the first book in the series, but it just seemed all the culmination led to nothing. My biggest problem would be the fact that though there might be three or four antagonists, the major one in this book wasn't revealed, destroyed or even mentioned until the second half of the book. And they were around for only a few pages, with little description. There's plenty of alluding to more sinister people coming, but will they also have very little description? I want to keep reading the series because there is so much tension and turmoil building. Erikson is fairly good at that. But I can't read ten more books like this to finally get to that conclusion. The players discussed in great length at the beginning weren't mentioned in the end, and I had a hard time not reading with great haste towards the end. I probably won't read any more of these books unless I'm feeling like I need a ten book saga into this world.

I would reward Erikson on an amazingly unique and epic book. The magic, and deep themes running through the universe all seem completely worked out and thought through, which is a complaint about many other fantasy writers. Erikson is definitely for a mature audience, in complexity and intricacy, if not for content. I would recommend this book only to the devoted epic fantasy enthusiast. 7.5/10

the taboo and censored

This is something of a continuation of my previous post morals, but I wanted to elaborate on part of it.

We live in a society of rules and laws. But really there are no rules. We just have an illusion of safety. But we also give up freedoms. Yes, we are the land of the free. But you cannot do everything. How bizarre is it that I cannot grow a specific plant in my house? Regardless of what I might do with it. It threatens no one and is incapable of harm, but still is not allowed. It seems strange to me. But anyway, my bigger concern for our society is the censorship that we have in this country and also those things that are considered taboo. Self expression and freedom of speech are freedoms that we hold paramount. However, through societal pressure we are not supposed to talk about certain things or think certain ways. It saddens me that some things that I think bring the most joy from life fall into my perceived list of things I would feel embarrassed about. I cannot change the laws of this country but I can determine the contents of this blog. So I'm going to stop censoring myself. It is my life, and though this is not private, I am going to be talking more about the abstract and weird things I want. If you disagree or find them weird, it is whatever to me at this point.

Forever Lily

Forever Lily.

Both of the pictured pieces above are exactly the same piece. The one on the left was taken by my webcam and cropped by myself. This is how I've added the last few pieces of mine. The one on the right was scanned with my scanner, and pieced together from about 6 separate scans. As you can see they are fairly different. Clicking on them really shows the differences. There are pros and cons to both. The webcam picture is fairly straightforward. I can snap a picture, crop, and post it easily. However the quality isn't nearly as good and it's hard to get straight. The scanner on the other hand can't scan the whole piece. It's simply too big. So I have to piece each scan together. This takes a lot of time and still doesn't come out exactly correct. But the quality and coloring is much better. Hopefully I'll be doing all of them this way from now on. I'll just have to suck it up. This is hopefully the 3 of 4 for the Lily series.

morals

I was talking with my parents tonight about issues. I like talking with them and pushing them on various things I think about. One thing that I often talk about is morals, whether actual government laws or societal laws/rules in which the general public engages.

Tonight I pretty explicitly asked my Dad why he doesn't like swearing. As far as I can tell he's very intolerant of it. Whenever I would say a cuss word he will say in a disapproving voice "Daniel...." or give a shake of his head. Mostly this doesn't bother me. But sometimes I think his distaste goes too far. When he saw "Little Miss Sunshine" he hated the movie because of how much the grandfather swore. He couldn't get over how this older man kept saying "fuck" in front of this little girl and it basically ruined the movie for him. It effects his own life, not those he is condemning, and it is frustrating when I feel like he is doing so needlessly. Whatever, I asked him about it.

We talked for a while and he went over various anecdotes for when it had been used inappropriately. From what I gleaned, it seemed like my Dad didn't like it because using it often enough could make you use it at inappropriate times, could offend someone else, and was in general just a bad practice. He referenced not enjoying particular jokes and such, presumably because of their use of swear words. When I pushed him on why he didn't like them for himself, he seemed to have a hard time articulating an answer. Everything seemed to be based on others' reasons or because society didn't use them. I tried to explain to him that I didn't feel like that was an actual reason for thinking they were bad. I used this analogy.

'There is this psychology experiment where a bunch of monkeys are in a room. In the room is a ladder, and at the top of the ladder is a bunch of bananas. But when the monkeys try and climb the ladder the researchers pull them down and punish them. No matter how many times the monkeys try and go up, the researchers stop them and punish them. New monkeys are added to the originals and the same thing continues. Eventually when new monkeys are added and try and reach the bananas, more experienced monkeys will pull them down before the researchers can. Eventually the researchers don't have to do anything. The monkeys teach the new generations to pull down monkeys going up the ladder to the bananas.'

Basically, I was trying to explain to my Dad that tradition isn't a logical reason. Tradition is just a way of saying 'don't do something because we said so'. It has no intrinsic logic. So I pushed him to come up with a reason for why swearing is bad on its own merit, by something he can come up with on his own. He tried saying society doesn't like it. That's tradition. "It's bad because it's a cuss word." Frustrating. Eventually after getting frustrated at each other for a while, my Mom mentioned not swearing because it could get you in trouble. I think avoidance of punishment is only barely above tradition in the scheme of things. It just shows society disapproves but not why. Another time when I asked my Dad why murder was wrong, he also didn't seem to be able to come up with much besides the fact that it "was wrong" and because you could get in trouble. So I kept pushing them for a compelling reason regardless of tradition, society, or punishment avoidance. My Mom came up with the fact that if two people came in and started having sex that we all wouldn't find it very enjoyable. I of course would, but that's beside the point. And using a word such as fuck in front of a five year old girl would arise questions that were largely inappropriate and untimely. For the most part I still feel like this isn't really getting into anything but other's views, and society, but I still understood what she was saying.

For myself, for the most part, I don't see any words as "bad." No stringing together of letters in my opinion can be wrong. However, I do feel like what they mean and how they are used can cause issue. Mostly I guess I really have to agree with harm avoidance. I won't use fuck, shit, cunt, bitch, ass, whatever in public because that won't offend anyone. Not really a personal reason, but it will keep me out of trouble. And mostly those words are used in hateful means. Bastard, someone with no father, is in no ways bad to me. But because it was once considered a bad thing to not have a father, is considered a hateful word worthy of censorship. If that is actually applicable as a mean thing these days I have no idea. I'm sure someone without a father wouldn't want to be reminded of that fact. But mostly I'm just going to remove the word from my vocabulary because uttering it doesn't seem like it could be said in a productive way. But I have no actual problem with the word bastard, or basically any others.

If anything I think many swear words should be used quite a bit more often. Like bastard, most swear words are things that are taboo, those things we don't want to talk about. Sadly most of these things are things concerned with sex and bodily functions. It is a means for society to avoid these issues. It creates a stigma around them, and thus we are less likely to talk about them. And I think it's very sad because these are the things we should be talking about, especially with our kids. I think basically all communication is a good thing. Just ignoring it, or making it taboo will not stop kids from having sex, and it certainly won't stop them from shitting. It's weird to think that if all of society embraced this we would actually lose all swear words because they would have no "bad" power.

As far as other acts, I basically have the rule not to disable others' free will. I will not do anything to disrupt anyone's free will. I will not effect their life so they cannot live it the way that they want. In this case, swearing is something of a gray area. Swearing doesn't take away their free will, but possibly could effect their enjoyment from life. And I don't really think censoring myself in the appropriate situations is too taxing or an invasion of my free will. This philosophy of freedom of will basically covers everything, including things such as murder where someone's free will is taken away from them permanently. I don't really have a good logical reason why free will should be something given to everyone. I would just say that it is basically all I can give anyone in this life. They were not brought here by choice, and they should have the option to determine their own destiny from here on out. Things ranging from rape, assault, theft, and others all prevent them from doing this. I don't really have any hard and fast rules besides this. I think I can assess basically any situation with this guideline. And many things that society would condemn such a incest, cannibalism, drug use, sexual orientation, and whatever else don't bother me at all. The only area where I would have a hard time with is areas of questionable judgment such as infringing on others' lives, determining adulthood, and when a person is alive. Thus swearing, abortion, and when people should be allowed to drink are a little hazy. But I would love to hear ideas for those.

Passion Lily

Passion Lily.

I wanted to finish that Untitled picture. But it was coming out terrible, so I decided to do a series. I'm going to try and use the basic structure and lines of Tigerlilly in about 4 different pictures. I'll be using various color schemes and small differences. Here is the first (second) installment. I actually did this in one exhausting day, which has to be some type of record for me. Hopefully it will look great if I can hang them all on one wall.

untitled (in progress)

This is the line sketch for a coloring piece I drew out tonight. I'm working on more line effects, and coloring. It should be pretty simple and a nice little exercise. Those may or may not be my fingers.

Tigerlilly

Tigerlilly.

I'm happy with how this piece turned out overall. It's mostly just a coloring piece, but I've been trying to assimilate more line drawing and line effects. That is pretty hard to see through this picture. Nevertheless, I'm happy with it, and look forward to doing similar pieces in the future. I may also trace this one out and try a different color scheme. I'm also going to try and matte and frame this myself.

Tigerlilly (in progress)

I'm liking this one so far. It'll probably end up terribly.

Fahrenheit 451

Ray Bradbury's classic Fahrenheit 451 is a vision. It tells of a future so devoted to censorship and keeping things inside, that suicides and betrayals are commonplace.

Bradbury is an intricate and fascinating writer. I was most drawn in by his dramatic monologues. The interplay between the few characters in Fahrenheit 451 was an insight into the desolation of our own lives. 7/10